Kate Hudson, mom of 3, admits that ‘parenting is hard.’ But learning this important lesson can help, she says
After 21 years of parenting, Kate Hudson, 45, finally understands the power of being humble around her kids.
The Running Point star had the realization after reading the “game changer” of a parenting book, The Conscious Parent by Shefali Tsabary, which Oprah Winfrey personally recommended to her.
“Of course, I read it immediately,” Hudson told Kylie Kelcie while appearing as a guest on her Not Gonna Lie podcast on March 6.
The thing that really stood out to her, said the mom of three—sons Ryder, 21, and Bingham, 13, and daughter Rani, 6—was the idea that “our own traumas come out while raising our kids.” Being aware of that, she says, is extremely important.
The Almost Famous icon offered a recent example. “The other day, Bing and I—he’s in that teenage phase—we had that head butt moment of, I want him to do something, he refuses to do it.”
In that moment, she explained, “I got triggered. It wasn’t about him. It was about my own inability to resolve or walk away from the moment that was happening. Instead, I became competitive with my 13-year-old, which is like, ‘Where is that going to get us?’ But it happens all the time as a parent.”
It’s only when she is able to walk away from such a situation, Hudson admitted, that “you can recognize where you might have created more of a problem than you did a lesson.”
That’s where Hudson, who called herself “a veteran mother,” got to call upon her hard-won wisdom. She knew what she had to do.
“Being able to tell your kids that you could do better, that ‘I could have handled that situation better,’ actually models much more for them than being stubborn and saying, ‘No, I can’t admit that I was wrong,’” she said. “I think that’s the biggest lesson for me—knowing when to do that.”
It’s important, she shared, “to admit you’re going to make mistakes…and to share your imperfections with your kids… To be able to say to your kids, ‘I could have handled that better, and I’m sorry, because you don’t deserve me to get that angry at you right now.’”
The ability for a parent to humble themselves in that way, she believes, will make any parent-child connection stronger.
Because “parenting is hard,” said Hudson—who credited her own parents, Goldie Hawn and Bill Hudson, for maintaining a close connection with her and her siblings, even while out in public and dealing with paparazzi.
“You are going to mess your kids up. I feel like no matter what you do and how you try to do it, it’s like you’re going to do it wrong. You’re going to make mistakes,” she told Kelce. “At some point, you’re going to do something that’s going to feel traumatizing to them that you didn’t realize felt traumatizing to them… Even in the most loving, connected, healthy, attached parental situation, you’re still going to mess up.”
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How Kate Hudson’s “Humbling” Kids Feel About Her “See-Through” Outfits
Too relatable.
GETTY
Kate Hudson isn’t afraid of a bold and daring sheer outfit for a night on the town despite her three children’s objections—something every mom can relate to.
The 45-year-old appeared on Kylie Kelce’s Not Gonna Lie podcast and discussed what it’s like raising her three children—21-year-old Ryder Robinson, 13-year-old Bingham Bellamy, and 6-year-old Rani Fujikawa. The Almost Famous actress described her children as “humbling,” particularly when it comes to their opinions on her sexier clothing choices.
GETTY
Hudson told Kelce that her brood, for better or worse, are incredibly dialed into her fashion choices. “As a mom, [kids are] just very much clued into the things that you’re doing,” she said during the podcast episode. “Like, it could be very see-through and they’re like, ‘No, mom, that’s gross. Like, what are you doing?’ You know? Or it could be like I’m wearing a dark lip and whatever. It’s just like there’s a lot of focus.”
GETTY
Elsewhere in the episode, Hudson made rare comments about what it’s been like to raise her children away from the spotlight of Hollywood. “There’s two ways to go,” she explained. “If you’re someone who’s like, really wants to keep things private private, you know, I think you just make that very clear to whoever it is, whether it be press or whether it be you taking a picture with a fan.”
GETTY
She continued, “It’s like when you’re with your kids, it’s just, ‘I’m with my kids, and I really don’t do that when I’m with my kids,'” she continued. “I mean, that’s kind of what I grew up with. When we would go out to dinner and stuff, that was just my parents’ thing.”
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‘Angry’ Kate Hudson admits she’s had to apologize to kids when ‘combative’ behavior ‘goes too far’
Kate Hudson is keeping it real about the ups and downs of motherhood.
During an interview on Kylie Kelce’s “Not Gonna Lie” podcast Thursday, the “How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days” actress — who is mom to sons Ryder, 21, and Bingham, 13, and daughter Rani, 6 — candidly spoke about having apologize to her kids when she “goes too far” in parenting.
“I became combative with my 13-year-old … where is that gonna go?” she said, referring to her son Bingham refusing to do something she asked him to do.
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“But it happens all the time as a parent. When you walk away from it, you can recognize where you might’ve created more of a problem than you did a lesson,” Hudson, 45, added.
“The importance of being able to tell your kids that you could do better, I could’ve handled that situation better, actually models much more for them than being stubborn and saying, ‘No I can’t admit that I was wrong.’”
The “Glorious” singer said that has become the “biggest lesson” for her now that she feels like a “veteran mother.”
“I’ve been doing it for 21 years. It’s like, to admit — you’re gonna make mistakes, you’re gonna be wrong,” she added. “And to share your imperfections with your kids in moments without — to be able to say to your kids, ‘I could have handled that better and I’m sorry because you don’t deserve me to get that angry at you right now.’”
Hudson said parents who don’t realize their own behaviors could be teaching their children “conflict resolution.”
“Sometimes in conflict, you go too far, and you need to say you’re sorry. Instead of teaching them that you doubled down. And what you find in going to your kids and saying, ‘I made a mistake,’ … that connection becomes stronger. That has been the biggest lesson for me is knowing when to do that,” she explained.
The “Almost Famous” star admitted that parenting is “hard” and that no matter how you try to do it, “you’re gonna make mistakes, you’re gonna f–k your kids up at some point in some way.”
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“Even in the most loving, connective, healthy, attached, parental situation, you’re still going to mess up,” she said.
Hudson welcomed her eldest son, Ryder, in January 2004 with her ex-husband, Chris Robinson. She then gave birth to Bingham, whom she shares with ex-fiancé Matt Bellamy, in July 2011.
The actress became a mom of three in October 2018 when she and her now-fiancé, Danny Fujikawa, welcomed their daughter, Rani.
